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Crazy!... I'm not crazy!
“Crazy, I’m not crazy! I planned it all perfectly. My life was crazy once, but what I did to get in here wasn’t crazy, it was the perfect scheme. If you’d have said I was crazy before the murders, before the angst and hate, I would have probably given a psychotic laugh. I’m not crazy now, those times have come and gone and now, locked away in my snowy cell of solitude, I sit here and defend that I’m not crazy.”
“I know you’re not crazy, I believe you, but I just want to talk to you. I want to help you, Sonny.”
“Help… You don’t know the meaning of the word help! Help is some kind of assistance given to those in need. I’m not in need, and I don’t need your help.”
“Well, let’s just talk a little, shall we? Why don’t you tell me what went on, where it all started?”
“Okay, I guess I’ll talk. I planned, I executed, and I ended. What more do you want from me.”
The doctor rose and left the room, leaving me to my thoughts and memories.
“Hey Sonny, how’s it goin’?” Emily asked in her sweet, heavenly voice. “I was beginning to worry about you. Are you okay, you seem a little pale?”
“I’m fine, I was just thinking about what I’d do if I ever lost you, or if I never met you. Where would I be now?”
“Don’t think about things like that,” Emily replied with a hint of sadness and doubt. “I’ll never leave you and we met. What more do you want?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe I don’t want anything. Maybe it’s just a dream, maybe I’ll get over it, but I wanna be the rocker on the cover of AP.”
“That’s a nice dream to have, Sonny, but I don’t think you can do it. I don’t think you’ll make it.”
“You don’t believe in me, do you? I thought you loved me! I thought you’d stand behind me!”
“I do love you, Sonny, and I want you to be happy. If you love me, you’ll get a real job and stop these teenage fantasies.”
“Sonny, we’re all waiting for you. What’s wrong?” Gerard asked in a voice of concern and reason.
“I’m just a little upset, that’s all, but there’s no reason for me to let that affect my performance. These people came here to see Black, and that’s what they’ll get, not some sad little man afraid to face the truth.”
“But Sonny…”
“I’ll be fine, I’m sure”
Gerard left and there was a voice that spoke, almost as though the air was escaping from Sonny’s body in his final moments. “I’m pretty sure I’m sure.”
The band took the stage and at the end, while the officers marched in with fixed intent, Sonny began to sing.
“Her smiles and her laughter
It's the only thing that I've been waiting for a time
Regardless of our distance and our hope...grows greater
Trapped by pretty eyes and letters for all time
...the only thing that I've been waiting for.
I hope it's something worth the waiting
'Cause it's the only thought that I ever feel real
Thunder storms could never stop me
'Cause there's no one in the world like Emily
She's simple yet confusing
Her sparkling eyes make me weak at my words, they tremble
Days seem like years in this month of December
The winter coldens me for I have yet to sleep
And never will I give up trying 'cause you're everything to me.”
Sonny fell to the floor in a burst of tears and the officers ran up to cuff him, dragging him off stage, destroying the one thing he dreamed of and yet, destroyed him.
“Crazy, I’m not crazy! I planned it all perfectly. My life was crazy once, but what I did to get in here wasn’t crazy, it was the perfect scheme. If you’d have said I was crazy before the murders, before the angst and hate, I would have probably given a psychotic laugh. I’m not crazy now, those times have come and gone and now, locked away in my snowy cell of solitude, I sit here and defend that I’m not crazy.”
“I know you’re not crazy, I believe you, but I just want to talk to you. I want to help you, Sonny.”
“Help… You don’t know the meaning of the word help! Help is some kind of assistance given to those in need. I’m not in need, and I don’t need your help.”
“Well, let’s just talk a little, shall we? Why don’t you tell me what went on, where it all started?”
“Okay, I guess I’ll talk. I planned, I executed, and I ended. What more do you want from me.”
The doctor rose and left the room, leaving me to my thoughts and memories.
“Sonny, it’s okay, I know you’re upset, but you don’t have to do this. We can work it out, I’ll do anything you want, anything. Please, please don’t do this.”
“It’s the only way. You know the truth now, Emily. I’m sorry. I love you but I can’t let you live like this. I can’t live like this.”
Emily screamed the most blood curdling scream ever released. She fell, blood spattered and confused on the floor, the tears still wet on her cheeks. Sonny was everything to her and she to him, but all was ended by the knife.
“This will be the last entry to my diary. I have done it! You didn’t think I could live without you and neither did I, but I did it! You stood in my way, I had no choice. If only you could have believed me, if only you would have stayed away when I told you to. You just had to try and stop me, you just had to be the voice of reason. I love you. I miss you. Why wouldn’t you just leave me be.”
“Crazy, I’m not crazy! I planned it all perfectly. My life was crazy once, but what I did to get in here wasn’t crazy, it was the perfect scheme. If you’d have said I was crazy before the murders, before the angst and hate, I would have probably given a psychotic laugh. I’m not crazy now, those times have come and gone and now, locked away in my snowy cell of solitude, I sit here and defend that I’m not crazy.”
“I know you’re not crazy, I believe you, but I just want to talk to you. I want to help you, Sonny.”
“Help… You don’t know the meaning of the word help! Help is some kind of assistance given to those in need. I’m not in need, and I don’t need your help.”
“Well, let’s just talk a little, shall we? Why don’t you tell me what went on, where it all started?”
“Okay, I guess I’ll talk. I planned, I executed, and I ended. What more do you want from me.”
The doctor rose and left the room, leaving me to my thoughts and memories.
Sonny drew a line through the last name on his list full of hate and contempt, his face a sly smirk, and vision of triumph. Then, something happened, His face seemed to turn ghostly white, his eyes became a blur as tears began to form. He killed her. He killed his life. What could he possible have left now? It’s her fault. I told her to stay home. If she would have listened to me, she’d still be here. She didn’t love me. She was only in my way. He added a name to the list and crossed it off. His work was done now, all names accounted for, all those accounted for on the list.
The stage was set, the band was playing. It was the end of the show with one final song to play. The cops raced in to take Sonny down. They knew his secret, they had the proof. All that was left was to bring him in.
“Crazy, I’m not crazy! I planned it all perfectly. My life was crazy once, but what I did to get in here wasn’t crazy, it was the perfect scheme. If you’d have said I was crazy before the murders, before the angst and hate, I would have probably given a psychotic laugh. I’m not crazy now, those times have come and gone and now, locked away in my snowy cell of solitude, I sit here and defend that I’m not crazy.”
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